Mama & her Mancub

Poppie & Grandma - I’m still cute & happy even...

Fri, 25 Jan 2013 00:38:36 -0800

Poppie & Grandma - I’m still cute & happy even when I’m sick!

Coming soon....

Sun, 25 Nov 2012 21:40:44 -0800

Stationery card

View the entire collection of cards.

The Iron Mancub!

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:43:46 -0700

The Iron Mancub!

Iron Man & Super Girl!

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:43:31 -0700

Iron Man & Super Girl!

Picking out his 10 candies that he’ll keep. The rest are...

Thu, 01 Nov 2012 17:42:52 -0700

Picking out his 10 candies that he’ll keep. The rest are going in hiding.

Birthday boy!

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 13:15:27 -0700

Birthday boy!

Caring about yourself first

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 08:57:54 -0700

A close friend recently asked me or more like exclaimed to me, “Why do I care about you more than you care about yourself?!” It was in regards to getting my life in order so I can buy a car and other adult issues. She then continued, “caring about yourself is like caring for Mancub. You need to really care and take care of yourself so you can give 100% to your son.”

About a month or two ago, I had an anxiety attack. It was due to many changes happening at once and being stressed about being able to “do it all.” Earlier in the year I was sick at least once a month. Because of my anxiety attack I was prescribed Xanax but refused to pick it up. I don’t believe in the use of pills for myself. I also had to go to a cardiologist. I’m fine, everything came back normal. It was advised that I learn how to relax, look into bio-feeding (fancy medical speak for meditating) and lose some weight. Coming from a doctor, it doesn’t seem so harsh, it’s just matter of fact. Do this, so that doesn’t happen.

After reading the first two paragraphs, the question asked by my friend was a very valid and eye opening statement/question. In fact, I shall make it a part of my mantra. My mantra before was, “Life is what you make it.” I still believe that but I’m constantly asking myself, “will this choice make that future a good one?…and it doesn’t make feel stressed. It makes me feel more adult and ready to tackle on those adult issues.

I’ve read a few articles about single parent guilt (read here) and panic attacks that a single mom and freelance editor, Christine Coppa, occasionally experiences (read here).

Coppa offers some sound words of wisdom when it comes to handling panic attacks:

1. Break out the PLAY-DOH I find creating something calms me down.

2. Go for a walk. Fresh air and exercise always helps.

3. Put on a DVD for your child, sit down and breathe. Just chill.

4. Try chamomile tea. It has a calming component and even if you think this is BS, I find the Placebo aspect to really work for me.

5. Call a friend or family member if you really need help. NO SHAME!

Calling a friend or family member is what usually helps me but the steps needed to even pick up a phone to talk someone is done at a glacial pace. For some reason, I feel as though I should be able to take care of the issue on my own and needn’t bother anyone. But it’s that attitude that makes my stress and worries build up and leaving me immobile for a day or more (which many single parents cannot afford). So by the time I’m on the phone with my friend or parents, I’m already a mess.

The adult thing to do is to face the problem, take it by the horns, and take action to solve it - no matter how difficult it can feel or be. I did this recently and I felt so much better after I FINALLY took action.

As a single parent, my mind works as such:

In the morning before work: Mancun - must make his morning snack because he won’t eat breakfast before we leave. Find clothes for Mancub to wear, are they too small or big? Socks, where are the socks? How do I keep losing his socks? It’s 6:45 am and he’s still sleeping. Goodness he’s been sleeping in lately. Am I putting him to bed too late? Maybe I’ll get him to bed by 8pm tonight so he wakes up at 6:00 am but I really love being able to get ready in the morning without interruption. Ok, it’s 7:20 am, we have to go. Did I remember his milk? Did I pack enough blueberries? What kind of fruit will he be obsessing over next week?

On the way to daycare: I’m pretty sure I forgot something. Is Mancub happy? Why isn’t he talking as much as yesterday (other days: please stop asking “Why”!)? We’re here. Did I bring the weekly payment? Crap, now I know what I forgot, his extra clothes.

On the way to work: Need loud music!

At work: Work, work, work, spreadsheets, media pitching, client calls, social media, read news, did I eat lunch? Do I have a workout with the trainer today?

In the evening at home: Dinner. What’s for dinner? Why didn’t I plan ahead on Sunday like I wanted to? What takes the least amount of time but is still healthy? Will Mancub try the broccoli this time? That’s his second episode of Diego while I cook. Don’t turn the TV into a babysitter. Does he want to watch me cook? Is he going to eat this? I hope he eats this. I’ll scream if he doesn’t eat this. He didn’t eat it. $$$$$$ gone because he didn’t eat it. It will be bed time soon. I’ll catch up on some talking with friends after his bed time.

After Mancub is in bed: Me tired….zzzzzzzzz………….wait, must check e-mail before sleep….zzzzzzzz………crap I fell asleep on the couch again….oh well….zzzzzzz

In the morning when I wake up: Why does my back hurt?

Which is why I need to make some time for myself. If I take care of myself, like truly take care of myself by exercising, eating healthy, taking care of finances, stretching, reading, blogging, listening to music, whatever - then I can be 100% present and mindful for the Mancub.

So why did my friend care about me more than I cared about myself? Because I used to forget and I didn’t want to face the issue. I still do at times but I’m getting better at it. I’m doing the 21-day plan, where after 21 days of doing something, it becomes habit. It’s a bit sad that I have to make “caring for myself” a habit before it becomes natural but at least I’m taking on the issue head on.

Do you have any tips on how to make some time for yourself? What steps did you take to make time for you and take care of business?

Pretty much the cutest kid ever.

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:40:12 -0700

Pretty much the cutest kid ever.

I’m pretty sure my parents haven’t seen this yet.

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:39:06 -0700

I’m pretty sure my parents haven’t seen this yet.

Have you seen my pins?

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 19:37:10 -0700

Have you seen my pins?

Christmas time in Seattle!!!

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:56:37 -0800

Christmas time in Seattle!!!

It’s like watching a blue marshmallow run!

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:40:32 -0800

It’s like watching a blue marshmallow run!

Just in case you missed it, our year in review. HAPPY NEW...

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 10:01:13 -0800

Just in case you missed it, our year in review. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Work, Life & Balance: Ally Sperber

Mon, 10 Oct 2011 16:42:46 -0700

Did you know that there was an interview about me being a working mom? Well, here’s the link: http://www.momtastic.com/parenting/features/168301-work-life-a-balance-ally-sperber and below is the interview. Enjoy. xoxo

This article was written by Kristi Valenti of Momtastic:

Ever wonder how you can balance it all as a mom? This is one interview in a series talking to moms who have found a way to make it work. Meet Ally Sperber, Account Executive at Marketing Maven Public Relations and mom to Aiden (2).

As a single mom whose son is her top priority, Ally Sperber is thrilled to have a career that allows for a flexible schedule, creative vision, and opportunity for advancement. In her position as a public relations executive, she’s able to work from home, work while traveling, and jump back and forth between mom duties and professional obligations throughout the day. This fearless mom is handling it all, on her own, with lots of daily laughter.

1. What do you love about being a mom?

Being a witness to my son’s life is the greatest gift of all. I loved watching him develop from a newborn to the fiery toddler that he is now. The other day I was watching him play and thought to myself, “What beautiful feet he has. I remember when they were smaller than my hand and now I’m buying him size 8 toddler shoes.” Everyday I look at my son and think how amazing he’s become and look forward to learning more about him tomorrow. Like, today he loves to inhale oranges and asks for his train the second I pick him up from daycare. What will his passion be tomorrow?

2. What do you enjoy most about working?

The ability to be creative in terms of constructing a pitch, how to reach out to the media, etc. I’ve always felt that I would be a career girl, but one who is able to juggle family life. So it was important to find a career that I knew I could grow with, but also have time for my family. Public Relations seems to be one of the best fits for being a working mom. I’m able to travel with my son and work at the same time; play during the day and work at night. While I was working at home doing freelance, I would wake up at 5 a.m., which is what I needed to do in order to call East Coast media (I lived in Hawaii at the time), work for three hours, hangout with my son during the day and then answer emails and finish administrative stuff at night. My career gives me flexibility in creativity and time.

3. What’s your biggest challenge in juggling both?

Since I’m so career-focused, it is sometimes hard for me to come out of my zone. But as soon as I look at my son, I stop what I’m doing and focus on him. I only have so long before he’s uninterested in my attention and time. So I get in all the hugs and kisses I can before he starts thinking it’s gross.

4. How do you deal with it?

My career is my number one passion, but being a good mom is my number one priority. Keeping this in mind helps me not feel guilty about loving my job so much. Plus, I’m a single mom. We have nobody else to rely on if the bills or rent don’t get paid so I need to be able to focus and have a drive for results. Otherwise, how am I going to feed him?

5. How do you re-charge?

I’m not sure. I have a gift certificate for a massage that I got a few months ago that is still unused. But at night I usually unwind with some “30 Rock.” Tina Fey is my home girl – she makes me laugh. Laughing is the best way to relieve stress whether it’s from “30 Rock” or my son saying or doing something hilarious.

6. What advice would you give other women considering being a working mom?

Don’t be afraid of going back to work, of the juggle, the comments that you receive for being a mom who works outside the home, or of missing your child while you work. The more fear you have, the more stress you will have. So be fearless in life. The less fear, the more you can conquer as a mom and in your career.

7. Who inspires you?

It might sound conceited but I’m inspired by my past accomplishments. I’m the only one who completely understands my position in life and knowing that I’ve gotten as far as I have is pretty freaking inspiring to me. I figure if I can get this far then I can only go further and be happier in the future.

8. What one thing can you not live without?

I can’t live without my laptop. It goes with me wherever I am. If I’m traveling for work then I can Skype with my son and babysitter. It also brings my family and friends together. They get the opportunity to see my son via Skype or photos that I post. Plus, I have over 90,000 photos of my son on my laptop.

9. If you had an hour of time to yourself, how would you spend it?

I would use my massage gift card and drool on the table.

Aidan’s 3rd Birthday at Underwood Farms in Moorpark.

Sun, 18 Sep 2011 23:22:36 -0700

Aidan’s 3rd Birthday at Underwood Farms in Moorpark.

The beautiful gurgling goofball, Mancub!

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 19:47:44 -0700

The beautiful gurgling goofball, Mancub!

More Dwell on Design.

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 21:16:34 -0700

More Dwell on Design.

Some things seen at Dwell on Design.

Sun, 26 Jun 2011 19:25:44 -0700

Some things seen at Dwell on Design.

Our time so far in Seattle.

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 14:20:39 -0700

Our time so far in Seattle.

Fun in NYC!

Mon, 16 May 2011 18:09:27 -0700

Fun in NYC!